Thursday, August 04, 2005

Say Bye to Peter

Whoever said guys aren't morons, is full of crap. Did anyone ever say that? Probably some chauvenistic jackass but MAN did that guy have some balls. Now he just doesnt have the important part.

Thats ridiculous, when are guys going to learn that a little respect goes a long way. Sure girls are idiots, bitches, and just plain obnoxious. But if that douche who got his wang whacked is what the male species has to offer the world, I am quite disappointed.

Now on to a rant:

This society we live in today is technologically advanced beyond belief. Talk to your grandparents and other Depends wearing, arthritis cream using, old folks and you will see what I mean. They remember the days of only black & white tvs and when computers took up entire rooms. However, one thing has eluded technology and science. Maybe its time you two got together and came up with the following amazing invention:

A PRINTER THAT WORKS!!!!!

Printers are the most fascinating technological invention on the planet. Sure they work out of the box. And then one weird thing starts to happen after another. Sometimes the fucker takes 4 pages at a time, maybe 2. Its like a guessing game. So you start to feed it one sheet at a time "I am smarter than you, you bastard printer". Yeah well your inner monologue is not more powerful than faulty electronics, and alas the printer jams. Now youve got an 8 1/2 x 11 nightmare clogging your printer. I see people here at work disassembling the sides looking for the long lost hidden sheet of paper that managed to wedge itself incorrectly rather than feed properly.

BUILD A PRINTER THAT FUNCTIONS!! There are medications helping sick children and people(thats right children arent people dont EVEN argue this with me). We can go to space and waste billions taking photographs of stupid stars. But we can't build a printer that wont jam or shit out on you. This is just amazing to me...someone get on it because Im far too busy making my Slim Fast Beer prototype and with the millions I make I wont need a printer.