A taste of Escape

MIXMANIA

2005-09-15T08:25:00.000-04:00

So I picked up this one blog a bit back, Patriside

He runs this thing called MIXMANIA - where essentially a theme is chosen and everyone makes a mixtape(CD) based on the theme with which you are free to interpret. So alas the time has come to post our song lists. Whoever received my CD, I hope you found some long time favorites on there and I also hope I introduced you to something new that perhaps you liked. Enough with the chit chat. THE GRAND UNVEILING!

August Mixmania - theme = Driving

Name Taken - Drive Drive Drive - The title speaks volumes
Steppenwolf - Magic Carpet Ride - A fun take on transportation dont you think? Itd be so sweet to drive a Magic Carpet
Deftones - Passenger - This song is just awesome and powerful. Maynard is the guest on this track(lead singer of Tool and A Perfect Circle)
ACDC - Highway To Hell - Classic squelching rock tune
Bob Seger - Night Moves - This song just reminds me of driving. I hear it almost every time I drive to school or back from school, kinda weird
Death Cab for Cutie - Title and Registration - I just thought this song title was a neat take on the theme
Queen - Bicycle Race - Queen is just great, and this song was the closest thing to driving hah not to mention fun to sing along to
The Get Up Kids - Mass Pike - This song refers to the massachusettes turnpike, its sadder in usual Get Up Kids style but one of my favs
Bloc Party - Price of Gas - How can you talk about driving without the familiar cringe of gas prices?
Beatles - Drive My Car - beep beep beep beep YEAH!
John Mellencamp - Jack and Diane - If you dont sing along to this...you are not living
Love as Laughter - Dirty Lives - Another fun song by a relatively unknown band
Modest Mouse - Black Cadillacs - Modest Mouse is my favorite band and something had to go on here and what better song for a driving mix than that with Cadillacs in the title
Stealers Wheel - Stuck In The Middle With You - Another sing along, I was trying to balance songs entirely related to driving with classics to sing to
Eisley - Brightly Wound - I just threw this in there for something different and a beautiful song at that
Eagles - Hotel California - Again if you dont sing along to this youve been missing out man
The Playmates - Beep Beep - This song used to crack me up when I was younger, I just put it on there for fun and hope my Mixmania victim, receiver, hopefully friend, got a good chuckle

Im rewriting musical history here

2005-09-14T11:04:00.000-04:00

Seems as though some people have yet to realize that I just don't care anymore. Girls especially hate this sentiment. "You dated me 1 yr ago you should still care about me". Ok well maybe I would had you not gotten drunk, hit me, and then lied and told people I hit you hmm? Did you think of that?

I don't want stupid IMs sent to me trying to mess with me and make me get angry, it won't work. I do not care. Besides you got fat and you know this. I know this is mean but honestly, I have an absolutely amazing girlfriend right now, and you are not going to win this battle.

Why is it so awful when people stop caring? I mean not about EVERYTHING because thats just detrimental to their own health. But why is it so bad to remove yourself from a bad situation? Look down on me all you want is how I see it. If I remove myself from a bad situation I am only doing myself a favor, decreasing my dukkha if you want to take a buddhist stance on this. That song that goes "Girls just wanna have fu-un" is horseshit..."Girls just want attenti-o-on" oh yes

must...have...wa...ter

2005-09-13T11:03:00.000-04:00

you know what sucks?

When you live in a dorm and forget to put waters in your fridge...Then you wake up and you have that thought to yourself "funny i dont REMEMBER eating cotton before bed" so you stumble in a morning haze over to your mini fridge which is your way of subconciously reminding you that your possessions all fit in one tiny ass room, and thats depressing. Then you reach into your 5 x 5 box of refreshment, to find 2 bottles of rum 1 beer and no fucking water.

no water....not cool....not happy....can only be mad at myself...that is all

Crash Test

2005-09-12T18:36:00.000-04:00

This semester is shaping up to be quite an uphill trek to freedom. I feel like I should rename UConn the Underground Railroad. Tasteless but quality.

Anyway, saw Crash again today. It is rather good. My teacher saw it with me and we talked about it afterwords over some coffee. She said she doesnt see what all the hype was about. This is interesting because I thought she would enjoy it. If anyone saw this and liked it let me know why.

I think it has all this hype because it discusses something that one on one is hard for people to talk about and encompass it all in the shocking and visual manner the movie accomplishes. A text on the same subject would not be as effective for me as the actual movie was. The shot of the father screaming without sound mind you, is powerful and people in the crowd actually gasped.

Arent the movies that shock you, not in an appauling way but just present such a sense of realism it is emotionally involving, just good because they invoke that emotion? I mean you love comedies because you like to laugh..kinda the same thing? maybe not

Anyway go see it.

2005-09-09T09:30:00.000-04:00

I might as well rant since thats the cool Blog thing to do - this goes out to you UConn:

If you buy sweatpants that have words on the ass of them. You should thusly assume guys are going to "read" them. Therefore, if you are ginormous please refrain from wearing them, especially if your ass is so large that the letters are moving far too violently for anyone to read.

Oprah - When are you going to get shot or at least Fat again, you were much more entertaining when I could turn on your show with 30 friends and whoever got closest to your weight without going over won the pot. Now you just suck.

One month this summer new music came out and it was all fantastic. That means for this year we are 1/8 with one good album coming out on the 20th of this month which I already have. Where the hell is all the good music at? Someone do something about this, I am quite peeved.

I think its funny that people like to ask me to retell my ex-girlfriend stories to all those around me that have yet to hear them. Never do I get tired of the reactions. Most girls feel that I am a nice guy, while sarcastic and cynical, still a nice kid. It amazes them to no end at the rather large ratio of psychotic to normal that I have dated. If I ever write a novel that is even quasi-autobiographical, you freudian bastards are gonna have a field day trying to figure THAT one out.

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend. I will be spending my saturday morning from about 9-12 drinking beers and then going to a football game. This is hardly healthy and hope to walk away without weighing 50 lbs more just to turn around and do it again next weekend. FANTASTIC. Football season started boys n girls...take in a game..live the magic.

You're Not Fully Clean Unless You're COLORfully clean

2005-09-05T22:30:00.000-04:00

Be patient with this story guys. I promise you it will be worth it.

So when I was younger I used to rollerblade a lot. Just about every day. Either just to skate or to play roller hockey, whatever. Well one day I was doing a rail slide and slipped...i grabbed the rail to try and slow myself and dislocated my shoulder. I had a series of subluxations after that which left my shoulder in bad shape at the age of 18. I had arthritis and needed surgery. The surgery was nothing major and it went well.

Since then I haven't had any incidents until this past friday. I was playing football and I went to tackle someone and my fingers got caught up on someones leg which yanked my arm forward as my momentum caused my body to proceed going in the opposite direction. My shoulder had another subluxation and eventually went back into the socket on its own. It has been a little uncomfortable since friday but nothing to worry about.

I had asked the girl who lives next to me for an advil the other day and she complied and hooked me up. Tonight I ran into her in the hallway and she told me that she received some information about my shoulder and how to make it better. I said "what?" and she replied, "Yeah I know its weird. We will go on a walk later if you want to know and I will tell you". "Ok sure".

So enter the walk. We proceed to walk and she explains to me that I need a color cleansing. My colors and chakra are off. I have a yellow issue. She will do the color cleansing for me, she has prepared an essence for me. I have to wear yellow for 3 days, preferably to bed. I have to meditate 5-10 mins before bed with a prepared meditation she has. She will do the color cleansing. The imbalance and pain in my shoulder is a physical manifestation of an emotional issue. I am carrying with me the burden of some female and its resting on my shoulder and causing the pain. Who gave her the information?

MY GUIDE?!? Yes boys and girls, my guide visited her in a meditation and told her about my issue. If she hadn't offered me the option (because by asking for advil I was asking for help), then her shoulder would begin to hurt. WHAT THE HELL? She is freakin nuts. Who the hell says this to someone they barely know? I asked for an advil not for a color cleansing and freedom from my burdens. Apparently this will improve my creativity and my writing as well. Now I know why Derrida and Heidegger were such geniuses...they got color cleansings.

People In College Aren't Always Smart

2005-09-03T10:50:00.000-04:00

So in class yesterday my teacher clearly asked students not to use particular racial words while we discussed the reasoning behind parents requesting that Huck Fin be banned from schools. There are other students of color in the class as well as the teacher herself. 2 people blantantly dropped the N bomb.

Both were over the age of 40 and should have been able to take direction. The second one said it after the teacher reprimanded the first guy for doing it. This made for a rather uncomfortable place of learning.

Should books be banned? I dont know. I believe that it should be the parents job to take an active role in their childs education and help their kid learn from the text as a historical piece of literature. They should make their child understand that the word is not to be used and that it is offensive and wrong etc. I mean a girl in my class was in tears because of the way people were tossing it around. Sigh..I dunno banning books is wrong I think, I think its the parents that need to take a role and not just shun the school district...tax money speaks volumes

Here a Rant, There a Rant, everywhere a rant rant

2005-08-31T18:05:00.000-04:00

And away we go...

People need to not stick their nose in business that has nothing to do with them.

AIM profiles and away messages should no longer function on the level that the 10 commandments did(Do?). For christ sake females...calm down its just a profile its not an inner monologue.

Take the 2nd rant and think about how the 1st one got created..idiots

An institution of higher learning should really get their paperwork and all that straight. In a week I have switched jobs 3 times due to schedule issues, saying I have work study, oh no wait you dont have work study, and so on. PS when did the university send out a memo requesting teachers to invade my exit only hole? Jesus this relationship is totally getting abusive.

If you come in from the rain soaking wet, dont make some non-witty comment about how "OH ITS RAINING OUT THERE" no shit thats why I am carrying an umbrella and you are a wet pile of rags.

Sorry I havent been updating but school is just settling in and things should get more regular and by regular I mean like old people bowel movement regular..do with that what you will

Theres no place like....

2005-08-27T10:32:00.000-04:00

As the final semester begins I am thinking..FINALLY GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!

My friends who have graduated give me the "be happy you are still in school". Yeah but I am going to grad school and I do not want to be in this undergrad nightmare anymore. People are so lame and young its amazing. I mean I took time off before going and now I am 24 going on 25 by graduation. I cannot deal with the mentality sometimes.

Should I be sad or something?

I dont know I feel like I will miss the guys I have become good friends with. 2 people in particular have been great friends and are just quality people. You don't meet people like that all the time. Keeping in touch is rough though especially for me. I have no problem just picking up my shit and leaving.

My buddy from home says I get in "UConn Mode" and dont keep in touch with anyone from home and disappear for undisclosed amounts of time. This is pretty much true and part of that is because I never have a sense of home. I never created this concept of home ever. My parents are nuts and its always been an uncomfortable place for me to be around them.

When I graduate and have to sit home until grad school starts I fear I will feel more lost and not at home than ever before. What sucks is that the people there do care about me and are genuine friends and still I dont feel like its home...does this make me a dick or just honest?

Say Cheese

2005-08-17T11:50:00.000-04:00

Some of my photos are up

Go Check em out. I have to pack and stuff for school so my posts may be few and far between for a couple days. But I will get back into the swing of things I promise.

I'll tell you where you can stick it!

2005-08-16T10:03:00.000-04:00

I come from a family which has its fair share of pretty crappy luck. My dad was laid off twice and it has financially stunned and beat the crap out of our family. It has often times made the life at home unbearable because the parents dont handle money issues like that too well, who can blame them? Today is my last day for the summer where I am working and people are being laid off.

This really bothers me a lot and I feel like I sit here day after day doing nothing(and I have spoken up about it) and yet these guys come in day after day and WORK. Yet I have people telling me they wish I was staying and these guys have to go home today ..without coming back. This makes me really angry. Imagine if you were in college and one day your advisor hands you an envelope and says, "we don't have the funds to keep enough staff around to teach every student, we have to let you go" I say this because most of my readers arent career types yet. Losing your job is majorly disappointing and difficult to handle.

I wish I had a positive post to put here today but my heart goes out to the families that are about to get a major shock today. I wish them all the best and hope they can make it through.

See ya on the reservation

2005-08-15T10:51:00.000-04:00

I have never been a fan of talking on the phone. I am no good at it because I know as soon as I pick it up I would much rather be doing something else. Usually, I go ahead with my love of more interesting endeavors while attempting to talk on the phone. I can get away with half paying attention most of the time. But someone at MIT has set out to screw men all over the planet. Introducing, the Jerk-O-Meter.

This is more of a nightmare for guys than Dawson's Creek was for me when I was in high school. Man, EVERY girl wanted to watch that show and if you expected to make out at some point in the night guess whos ass was sitting through it. The only thing that kept you going was Katie Holmes, and we know where that has gone. Now, some jackass is ruining the phone for all. While it is not likely(at least if there is some form of god) that this will ever be picked up by cell phone companies, it is still a possibility. Dont even tell me I will have to start *gulp* paying attention!

The phone is the most awkward and annoying thing we have. It is great for text messages and in fact I would trade in my phone for one of those 2 ways in a second. I hate the phone and often times dont bring it out with me when I am going somewhere I do not want to be bothered. The Jerk-O-Meter makes it all the more likely that I would rather revert back to smoke signals. So slap a feather on my head and call me old fashioned, but at least you wont be calling me a jerk.

Sports..I take them seriously

2005-08-14T11:45:00.000-04:00

After having a discussion with the woman this weekend. I have decided that this argument needs to be settled across a much larger audience. There is a fine line between a sports movie and a movie that passes itself off as a sports movie. Thusly, I feel criteria needs to be built in order to prove to said woman that I am in fact correct and her logic is flawed.

A sports movie must have the main focus of the movie be on sports. There of course CAN be sub plots like a sitcom. Plot A = Sports Plot B = the star quarterbacks struggle with becoming old and unable to perform, for an example.

If Plot A = stupid romance blooming between people who happen to be dressed as sports players? Not a sports movie - See Wimbledon.

Therefore I feel I will basically list some acceptables and some non-acceptables

Sports Movies:
Miracle
Any Given Sunday
Rudy
Hoosiers
The Natural

Not Sports Movies:
Summer Catch
Wimbledon
Fever Pitch

There is no arguing this I dont feel. If you would like to offer suggestions as to other criteria I leave the forum open. Commence debate!

Deeeeez nuts tagged my ass

2005-08-12T14:41:00.000-04:00

So I got Tagged/Memed/whatever todays hip word is by Dzer aka DEEEEEEZ nuts:

List 5 Idiosyncraccisciseiteies (Screw you thats how its spelled)

1-I have major issues sometimes with symmetry. Not like Rainman issues. But issues. For example I had a tattoo of an angel on my right calf muscle so I had to get another angel on my left one cause it was too off balance.

2-I am completely obsessed with fixing mine and others typos in instant messaging programs. I also get quite peeved with myself when I feel like I am sporting the typing skills of Corky on a sugar rush with a blindfold and mittens on.

3-If there is hair in the bathtub at all even if it is mine…I refuse to touch the shit. I aim the shower thing at it until it goes down the drain. If I don’t notice it until im already in the shower I will dance around the fucker while it goes down the drain kind of like a drunk tango without a partner and of course the naked thing.

4-If something comes up in conversation that I think I should know I am automatically overwhelmed with the fact that I am a bastard for not knowing and will do whatever I can to seek out said information I should have known in the first place. Like if you ask me what Keats’ first poem is, which see I don’t know I will now have to go look it up……. Keats's first book, Poems, was published in 1817. It was about this time Keats started to use his letters as the vehicle of his thoughts of poetry. "Endymion", Keats's first long poem appeared, when he was 21. GOD BLESS YOU GOOGLE!!!

5-I will do anything I can to avoid being within feet(other acceptible measurements are inches and miles) of a bee. This includes but is not limited to: Screaming like a 4 yr old girl whos brother popped her Barbie doll’s head off(WHAT she was a dumb blonde and I had nothing to do with it). Run like I am competing against a Kenyan in some sort of Olympic event, and flooring the gas pedal so I can get the car to a safe place to take part in either the first or second thing I just listed.

I choose to tag up Shane, RM, Theresa, and uh thats about it that reads this blog and hasnt already been tagged by Deeeeeeeeez nuts

Taste of Escape Mailbag

2005-08-12T08:05:00.000-04:00

This week I will do the 3 things I actually received. I will have to do this biweekly I think in the future. In order to attain enough emails. I thought people would actually email me - but since my reader base is 3 people or so I guess that explains THAT - SO on we go..T.O.E. Mailbag

"What makes the fish gefilte*? - E

Is it me or does this sound like something stolen straight out of one of those awful office emails that was sent to 33 people, none of which so much as chuckled except for Lydia the overweight secretary with the stuffed cow on her desk and 50 pictures of her grandkids. At any rate Miss Clever, the answer is simple. Gefilte is derived from the german word for stuffed. No I do not know what the German word for stuffed is but thats where it comes from so you are forced to believe me. "But oh Wise Amateur, Gefilte Fish isnt stuffed, you are just a wise ass". No, I am well aware it isnt stuffed it is actually fish sludge wrapped in Matzoh. Thats right ...fish sludge, who wants lunch?
*notice change of spelling

The next one I received was not quite in question form and it looked like this:

Talk about dating and sex - T

Dating is only truly spectacular for the Stevie Wonders and Ray Char...well Just the Stevies now I guess. I mean have you seen the girls down at the Y lately...yuck.

Sex is a way to make the men feel superior in an otherwise female ruled exchange between sexes. If we males didnt get to rail the female now and again, what power would we really have. Oh crap I gotta go take out the trash before the girl gets home.

Is it ever a good idea to call your wife a "stank bitch"? - S

S, this is a fantastic question. I thought about this long and hard and have come to the following conclusions:

1: If you are married it is pretty much understood that sex is a rarity. Especially once kids enter the picture. Therefore, if you aren't having full out sex at least three times a week, one stank bitch comment is allowed. If (se)x>=3 then s(tank bitch)=0 If se(x)<3 then s(tank bitch)=1. Use this ratio responsibly. Thusly if you go 2 weeks with x < 6 break out 2 s's

2: For the less mathematically inclined and more philosophical. The word good is key here. Is it ever a good idea to call your wife a name? Probably not because x will definitely equal < 3. What you do instead, without telling her of course, is make up pet names that have exquisite definitions you attribute to them. Like "Poopsy Bear" = shithead and "You little sex mongrel you" = stankbitch. Then you can call her that all you want and get your frustration out in your neighbors hot tub if you know what I mean.

I would have loved to extend this further and hopefully I was able to help a couple of you find true knowledge. I will do this again in 2 weeks so please continue to write in and tell others to as well. You can reach T.O.E. mailbag at mailto:abstractfellow@hotmail.com

Thirsty Thursday Cocktail O The Day (with a twist)

2005-08-11T10:13:00.000-04:00

Inverted Pyramid Martini

Ingredients:

1-1/4 oz Absolut Citron 1-1/4 oz Absolut Kurant 1 splash Grand Marnier Mixing

Instructions:

Shake all ingredients together in a cocktail shaker. Strain into a chilled Martini glass and garnish with a orange twist.

Besides the orange twist at the end I would like to make a request. I want to do a mailbag on Fridays. So start sending me emails. You can send me multiple emails if you would like and I will use them on different fridays. HOPEFULLY I can get some people to do this. EMAIL ME HERE on anything regarding, Pop culture, sports, dating, whatever. I will pick some and answer them tomorrow and every friday.

Turn up the volume

2005-08-11T08:07:00.000-04:00

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water-bath is to the body - Oliver Wendell Holmes

The power of music to me has always been fascinating. My friends all know that it is a huge part of my life and I often catch them laugh to themselves when they get into a conversation about it with me. I tend to research a lot on my own and used to write reviews, do interviews, etc. What I never did get to write is why I would even bother doing it for free.

Everyone assumed I got paid for my articles. I didn't want to write about it for money. I wanted to do it because of the experience, the bands I got to meet(some heros of mine, some zeros) and just the sheer pleasure of contributing something to the scene that gave me so much.

Music has always been part of this social discourse for me that a lot of people never get fully immersed in. By immersed I do not mean the kids who walk around looking like carbon copies of their favorite band either. I just mean fully involved in what bands are trying to do from album to album and whatever music is pushing the envelope, but not too far. The greatest power music has is the ability to bring a massive audience together, under one roof, with very little conflict. The people who do cause things are often inebriated to a rather high degree, but often not even they can ruin the experience. My friend got yaked on once and he didnt even care so long as the music kept going. This is the power I am talking about.

Nothing else even comes close. How is it that we cant seem to replicate this type of human understanding outside of this setting? Is it the psychological effects of the music, or is it simply that most people dont even take the time to see this is happening when they are at a show? Whatever it is, I know for certain that I will never fully grasp this idea but will always embrace it.

2005-08-10T14:57:00.000-04:00

With all the anti-male / anti-female posts I thought I would add a little comfort for both sides:

Baby, You Wouldn't Last A Minute On The Creek"

Let's just stop,drop everything,(forget each other's names) forget each other's names,And just walk away. Turn around and head in different directions,Like we never, it's like we never knew each other at all.We said what we feel, then we stop ourselves, And just walk away.Never looking back, Loving every second of it, we just walk away. This is probably the best, not to mention the worst idea, that I have ever had.Ignoring what we've loved, Overlooking what we've done, No awkward silences, no hiding any truthsWhat do you say?We say what we feel, Then we stop ourselves, And just walk away.Never looking back, Loving every second of it, We just walk away.Let's just stop,Drop everything,Forget each other's names,Can we please just walk away?It could be...could be...Like we never knew each other at all.Answer me!All egos aside, what do you say?

Thats a great song for couples breaking up to ponder

Update:

The same band also bitterly puts it this way for the more violent and angry of you

Now open up wide, fist first down your throat
Where no beauty lies, and rip out what should've been mine

Does...not...compute aka My Compute r sucks

2005-08-10T09:54:00.000-04:00

My computer at home is finally up and working again. Technology seems to hate me to a most ridiculous degree. If technology were a race, Id start the governmentally funded NAATHP. National Association for the Advancement of Technologically Hated Peoples.

I can use video game consoles, dvd players, vcrs, and all that shit with no problem. But once my finger touches my keyboard at home? My pc starts to mind fahk me. It likes to make me feel retarded. This is the point where I give my computer to SDogg who Harry Potters the crap out of it and suddenly it works again. I don’t know how that kid does what he does but someone oughta get the kid a broom and a wand. I believe the title of his book would be SDogg Potter and the Bagina of Destruction(inside joke of his don’t ask)

When did it get to the point where computers are so ridiculous to fix? I work at school fixing computers around one of the academic buildings. Our department gets so many awful phone calls for the students’ laptops that we have resulted in formatting just about every hard drive that comes in because its easier. File this rant under the same one as my printer rant…We need to achieve some sort of universal computer care system or something..Forget the old people and their medicare I need compucare dammit.

With that being said my life of video games and counter-strike filled evenings can commence once more thanks to SDogg curing my glorified paperweight of all its ailings.

SORRY ABOUT YOUR COMMENTS

2005-08-09T11:22:00.000-04:00

Sorry to everyone who lost their comments on here. I added Haloscan to my comments section because I feel it is better protected against spam and other such nonsense....*Cough* hopefully *Cough*

This Congress is now in session...

2005-08-09T08:25:00.000-04:00

Lets pass some laws guys. Elle, you oughta have fun with this in that, dorky, but not dice rolling dorky, kind of way. The following are things that I think should be passed as laws:

1) Government spending should be allocated to the R & D of a kid tranquilizer dart. These darts are to be used only on kids and in public places. I don't mean rifle firing tranqs either. I mean simple painless tranquilizers. So if mom and dad go to the mall and their kid is running around screaming or pulling things off the shelf they can snag em, tranq em, and 1...2...3 peace. These tranqs need to be proven to have no lasting side effects or cause permanent damage, I do not believe in harming todays youth in that matter.

2) There needs to be a law that a family sits down with a "Family Lawyer" when a child reaches the age of 18. It is to set a precedence that the family members(ok just the parents let be honest) cannot start an argument, be loud, or be disruptive before a certain hour of the morning. This means no bitching about the job you arent even at yet before you leave the house so that your son can hear you through the wall thus showing no consideration for the fact that his train was delayed last night making him return home extremely late and resulting him being grumpy and tired. This is all hypothetical. Failure to agree on a time defaults to noon and penalty of breaking the law results in you doing your kids laundry and cleaning his room for a minimum of 6 months to 12 months first offense.

3) Any kind of device that is used to address the public or at least large groups must from now on be audible. This includes but is not limited to, stadium announcers, train engineers/conductors, workplace annoucements, high school announcements(man those were a waste), etc.. This means that pressing the button so that an entire subway hears *SCREEETTCCHHHHH CRACKLE CRACKLE* is not acceptible unless for some reason you needed to say those exact sounds.

4) Old people, asian people, and indian people must have a driving test given to them once every 3 yrs. This is to maintain safety on the road. I just care about everyone so much that I wouldnt want to see anything happen to them(stop laughing jerk).

5) The International Law of Tastey Pizza - Pizza is a fantastic food which is regaled for its amazing ability to satisfy everyone on the planet at some point or another. Outside of frozen pizza(because I wouldnt suggest anything other than French Bread if you go this route) there needs to be a "German Purity Law" of Pizza. Theres a law in Germany stating what ingredients are suitable for beer. This means Rolling Rock, natural ice, Piels, and Pabst amongst others would never be made in Germany. I say the United States Pizza Purity Law needs to be drafted. This would allow consumers to have worry free dialing of pizzerias, knowing they will get quality no matter what place they call, its been nice knowing you Dominoes and Papa Johns.

These are it for now, I am running on barely any sleep and I am grumpy. The hypothetical train that got hypothetically stopped for hypothetically allowing the tracks, which were smeared with human blood from the hypothetical idiot who got slaughtered by one earlier, to be cleaned *Takes breath* would have, if this had happened to me, caused me extreme amounts of sleepiness and I apologize for lack of wit, smiles, and intelligence on this fine tuesday.

Begin Sappy Transmission

2005-08-08T08:50:00.000-04:00

Be prepared for some sappy inner workings of Amateur after this disclaimer. If you do not wish to read of such things, feel free to scroll down to Thursdays' Cocktail o The Day and get wasted and move on:

So things are finally starting to fall into place with the woman. After a couple summers of poor communication on both our parts and never settling in on any one decision, we have finally made major steps towards actually making something of all this time we have both put in. It has been a rather amazing summer because of her and neither one of us is positive what the future holds in specifics, but I am not so sure that worries us either. I think its more or less that we just want the other one around and thats far more comforting than I would have thought possible for me. And for those of you who truly know about my attitude about dating, you understand that this doesnt seem like me at all. Alas, thats the way things are now and I am more than ok with that.

This weekend a lot happened in relationship land and it has made the two of us really start to think about things, but its all been positive. There are still a couple weeks left before we both go back to school and I am confident they will be well spent.

::END SAPPY TRANSMISSION::

So how was everyone's weekend? I hope you all enjoyed the nice weather, the pictures I took over the weekend came out good for the most part and I should have some up on Flickr shortly with a photoblog to come next semester.

You know what would be great.....?

2005-08-05T08:38:00.000-04:00

1-If my ears would stop fucking ringing..I am pretty sure they are permanently damaged, they ring really badly whenever I am near anything loud anymore - I am turning 70 but my license says I will be 25...weird

2-If these "massaging gel insoles" actually massaged rather than globbed my foot left and right like I am one of those kids who needs crutches that attach to my arms to walk. People are going to think my spine is all fucked up cause my foot keeps sliding back and forth

3-If my mom stopped listening to country - for the love of fucking god 7:30 am is WAY too early for thinkin tractors are sexy and Shania Twain sing alongs.

4-If bosses at work were as easily convinced as High School teachers to do what you want. You all remember the push over teacher who would take you outside cause the entire class gave em shit until they caved..Bosses should be the same way, the conversation with mine would go like this...

Me: "Come on its 9 am and friday we could be out playing golf, or better yet sleeping.."
Dickhead: "Yeah I hear ya, I need those labels by noon is that ok?"
Me: "No I dont think you understand, please just let us all go come on now its so nice out...COME ON ALREADY ITS NICE WHAT MORE DO U WANT??"
Dickhead: "ok ok we'll end work early"

Ah if only it were a perfect world...

Say Bye to Peter

2005-08-04T09:34:00.000-04:00

Whoever said guys aren't morons, is full of crap. Did anyone ever say that? Probably some chauvenistic jackass but MAN did that guy have some balls. Now he just doesnt have the important part.

Thats ridiculous, when are guys going to learn that a little respect goes a long way. Sure girls are idiots, bitches, and just plain obnoxious. But if that douche who got his wang whacked is what the male species has to offer the world, I am quite disappointed.

Now on to a rant:

This society we live in today is technologically advanced beyond belief. Talk to your grandparents and other Depends wearing, arthritis cream using, old folks and you will see what I mean. They remember the days of only black & white tvs and when computers took up entire rooms. However, one thing has eluded technology and science. Maybe its time you two got together and came up with the following amazing invention:

A PRINTER THAT WORKS!!!!!

Printers are the most fascinating technological invention on the planet. Sure they work out of the box. And then one weird thing starts to happen after another. Sometimes the fucker takes 4 pages at a time, maybe 2. Its like a guessing game. So you start to feed it one sheet at a time "I am smarter than you, you bastard printer". Yeah well your inner monologue is not more powerful than faulty electronics, and alas the printer jams. Now youve got an 8 1/2 x 11 nightmare clogging your printer. I see people here at work disassembling the sides looking for the long lost hidden sheet of paper that managed to wedge itself incorrectly rather than feed properly.

BUILD A PRINTER THAT FUNCTIONS!! There are medications helping sick children and people(thats right children arent people dont EVEN argue this with me). We can go to space and waste billions taking photographs of stupid stars. But we can't build a printer that wont jam or shit out on you. This is just amazing to me...someone get on it because Im far too busy making my Slim Fast Beer prototype and with the millions I make I wont need a printer.

Thirst Thursday Cocktail O The Day

2005-08-04T09:19:00.000-04:00

Rosy Dawn(stolen from online somewhere)

Ingredients
5 red grapes
3⁄4 ounce fresh lemon juice
3⁄4 ounce simple syrup (see note)
1 ounce Tanqueray No. 10 gin
1⁄2 ounce Bacardi Limón
1⁄2 ounce Brizard apricot liqueur

Mixing Instructions
Put the grapes in a mixing glass, muddle, and tip into the bottom of a daiquiri glass. Put the remaining ingredients in a mixing glass, add ice, and shake well. Strain into the daiquiri glass, and top with a few ice cubes.

Simple Syrup = 1 cup sugar 1 cup water boiled together quickly in a saucepan

Country Song or Racehorse?

2005-08-03T08:49:00.000-04:00

Since the post about things that suck may not have things you feel you want to speak out on - Its time for a game. Are the following Country Songs or Race Horse names: If you want the answer sheet let me know

Whiskey River
What Dreams May Come True
Dixie Land Delight
Cowboys First Choice
Dust On The Bottle
Whiskey Lullaby
Cut the Cuteness
Sweet Rum Can Do
The Best Man

Pop Trash Movie

2005-08-03T08:21:00.000-04:00

Things that suck:

When people anuniciate the letter 'S' and it is a high pitched SSsssss sound even if they dont hold it

Bees - fuck em, I will become the first professional pollenator just get rid of the bastards

Mr. Clean - Please, with the amount of aggression this guy has towards cleaning, you know hes friends with those raging idiots on Bravo...yes you know the ones

The bands today that rip off 80s New Wave and somehow get drooled over like they came up with something totally new and creative, Way to give Duran Duran fans a reason to live..

Duran Duran fans

Any sort of container that not only comes with a protective seal around the lid of the damn thing but then when you go to use the contents inside you find that they have a stupid foil thing over the top too - especially spices because you have to get that clear plastic piece off first..I shouldnt need weapons to open a jar of Sage.

Crappy movies - and I dont mean the kind that are so awful, college kids around the country unite in some muggy dorm room armed with Milwaukees Best to laugh at the horrendous movie before them (See also: Patrick Swayze, Kurt Russel) but the kind that just make you want to hunt down the person who made it and beat the shit out of them (See also: Son of the Mask, You Got Served)

That's enough cheer for one morning - WELCOME TO HUMP DAY BOYS AND GIRLS!

Suck on This...

2005-08-02T12:18:00.000-04:00

I remember when I was out of the elementary school era of my life and into the ever so fun and joyful awkward middle school years(NOBODY misses those..I hope), the ice cream truck no longer was a facet simply for delicious frozen treats. It contained oh so much more. Sure Big League Chew was always on the menu for jittery youngsters everywhere hoping to look like Lenny Dykstra with a giant wad of shredded gum in their cheek, loving all 3 secs of flavor that it had. But kids in my neighborhood had much bigger motives, much bigger fish to fry if you will. We wanted to push the envelope of candy and challenge our will power..

Enter Warheads and Tear Jerkers.. Holy crap did these fascinate the mind. Candy that were not only of the cheap variety, but of the death defying, "Holy shit did you see how many of those Jimmy put in his mouth!" variety as well. These things were not just candy, they were a rite of passage into manhood. The jews had Bar Mitzvahs, we had Warheads. Why the hell did any of us think that putting something that is so sour the inside of your mouth would instantly pucker up like your ass at the site of a Natural Ice beer can was AT ALL a good idea? Regardless day after day we would run with dimes in hand and load up on these bastards. Good times..Does anyone know if kids have moved on to something more torturous, has society evolved and kids realize how freaking dumb it is to eat these?

Keep your hands inside the ride at all times

2005-08-02T11:12:00.000-04:00

Ive always been one to be entirely involved in the present. This avoids any actual contact or consideration for the future. Ive learned this allows you to appreciate what is going on presently without wasting precious time wondering where things are headed or as Heidegger says, possibilities. It is now that I realize there really is no avoiding the heidegerrian concept I learned about last semester. Our being is always comporting itself to time..we are constantly moving towards something. For me, I thought it would just be whatever I was doing that day or the upcoming weekend. But for the first time since, High School ::shudder:: I HAVE to concern myself with what is to come and due to my incredible ability to ignore it up until now, I have no idea how to handle this at all.

I have to take the GRE still and then apply to grad school. I am trying to pick some schools way far out of my reach where teachers have offered to assist in getting me into the program hopefully, and also schools that if I dont get into I must be a member of the Down Syndrome Kids of America because they are so easy. It is still frustrating as hell having to deal with that whole concept of "where am I going to go?" shit again. I hated it in 12th grade when I didnt even want to go to school and now I have to do it again.

Why is the future so much more frustrating than the present? I understand the whole wandering into the unknown and to a certain degree, a lack of control..but I dont think thats it, I think its more of a doubt issue that will morph into confidence once I pick a school..this is gonna be a bumpy ride

Recycling is for the Uncreative

2005-08-01T10:43:00.000-04:00

Before all you environmentally charged hippies come knocking at my door. I do not mean recycling of waste products but more along the lines of recycling jokes. For example the following things keep showing up...

1) 80s metal/shit rock Band jokes. I stick to jokes about Viking metal bands because that is far funnier than being inundated with jokes about Journey and Def Leppard. It is getting ridiculous, we all know they sucked and its hilarious to hear their stuff because we can recall how incredibly awful they are...wonderful

2) Celebrity Lists - These come in all forms, those that say Worst Dressed(with witty commentary to coincide), perhaps Biggest Douchebag Celebrities. This is what magazines do at the end of the year when there is nothing new to talk about. They create awful lists. Just look at Spin's latest vomit inducing rant about worst bands ever..the Doors made the list, tell me that isnt a PA stunt to get mentioned. See it worked on me..

3) Emo Jokes - now some of you know I listen to a lot of this stuff and I agree with most of the jokes. The scene is retarded and a lot of the bands are pathetic in different ways. However, making jokes about the kids is getting older than the themes these bands sing about. Why do you care so much?

4) The anecdotal dating story - These usually aren't funny. Just because you laugh at something shitty that happened to you doesn't mean we are supposed to laugh as well. Your life sucks, so be it. I do not think its hilarious that you screwed some girls best friend because she cheated on you first, we all know you went home and cried into one of those Pillow People(theres the link for the pop culturally challenged)

That should be it for now. Make up something on your own. Be funny and creative in your own way - This is why shows like Stella comedy are great and shows like According To Jim are steaming piles of Journey jokes.

Caddyshack Impersonation

2005-08-01T09:32:00.000-04:00

I have to play gopher for a little bit at work so until I post heres something to make all of you laugh, or laugh and cringe simultaneously

Respect yo Mama
and respect to you too if you get through the whole video

Friday = Fantastic

2005-07-29T08:17:00.000-04:00

Just to get this off my chest real quick:

Angels v Yankees tonight - Dear Angels, I know you dropped 4 straight(3 to the Blue Jays...THE BLUE JAYS!!!) but I am going to see you tonight - don't fuck up! Your Fan, DFresh

Now that I got that out of my system some quick thoughts..

Wouldn't it be sweet if all animals migrated south? I want to see a giant V shaped swarm of bears hauling ass down the median of a highway.

What ever happened to good cartoons? All the ones on TV nowadays seem to be an easy way to diagnose if your kid has epilepsy. I want the good ones like Thundercats and the questionably Homoerotic ones like He-man, yeah hes got a secret he doesnt want his dad to know alright.

Porpoises or Dolphins? One is fun to say, one is cool, how do you pick?

Speaking of marine mammalia, who the hell made march of the penguins? I want a movie on lion hunting or some cool animal. Instead I have to stay up late at night with the fate of society resting on whether or not The Duckbill Platypus will be immortalized on film - I got my finger on the trigger baby..

I saw a kid on tv today who is blind and plays video games and wins, why doesnt someone just unplug his controller?

Enjoy your Friday ladies and gents and I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. My new camera arrives Monday. Once I get used to its functionality and all that I will start a photoblog - the first set of pics will probably be from my trip to the Aquarium with my nephew after next weekend. NICE!

Heres a penny, buy yourself a life

2005-07-28T10:07:00.000-04:00

Being that I write this at work, a lot of these posts are work influenced. Do you guys find it weird that the people you spend the majority of your week with, we will say 35-50 hours, don't actually know who you are at all?

I assume most of you dont spend an additional 35-50 hours with friends. This is both depressing and interesting. We spend all this time at work with all these people. Some of us make good friends at work, but in the case of someone like me, a 24 yr old surrounded by people more likely to get arthritis before going to the bar, I don't make friends here. These people have no clue about me at all. They think I am this perfectly nice young kid, but if they saw the two tattoos on my legs their opinions would suddenly shift and thats fucked up.

How is it we can spend so much time with people at work and never be allowed to truly be ourselves? And I dont just mean garbage like wearing what you want, but how many times have you wanted to make some snide sarcastic comment to a boss but alas you cannot. Again, I dont mean AT your boss just to be funny or something but its too awkward. Its amazing that we are forced to sacrifice identity for the very thing most people use to purchase one, money.

Obey Everyone Else's Thirst You Ass

2005-07-27T13:55:00.000-04:00

CHANGE THE GOD DAMN WATER COOLER IF YOU FINISH IT OFF!!! - Thank you

That voice on the other end...

2005-07-27T12:45:00.000-04:00

As I have mentioned previously, I work for a rather large company. Because of this, I hardly see all the people with whom I have contact(mostly of the electronic variety). This is because of international offices as well as just those based in other locations. One manager has been having a lot of issues with her attendance records matching up with ours. This has caused me to have much interaction with her as of late - today the second time we spoke on the phone.

Now, this is not a big deal, but suddenly that text has a voice, still sans face. However, in the work environment everyone writes in this hoity toity manner that reflects an amount of professionalism. The phone for some reason unleashes the inner comedian in people. A simple conversation ended up containing the following two exchanges:

Her: "Yeah I specifically remember having a phone conversation with my mom where I said, "Now I know why people end up dead from this disease" - in regards to sick days taken in 2004.

Me: "OH haha(not at all fake laughter who do u take me...yeah it was fake)"

Her: "As far the remaining carry over days for this year, I likely won't need them, unless of course I am hit by a bus"

Me: "...ok"

Weird..I guess cause shes a coworker I expected some sort of dull exchange and before I knew it I had one 4 min conversation involving elderly deaths and a bus accident - fuckin weird

Laughing at the Po-Po

2005-07-27T09:30:00.000-04:00

How does anyone take the british police seriously in those ridiculous Bobby caps?

I mean think about our police. They got that cap that shadows their face and makes them look quasi badass - at least as badass as you can in a peaked cap. The peaked cap however is easily better than a bobby. The only people who might have it worse you ask? The proud gentlemen over at the Rhode Island State Police. What you dont see in this picture is their boots which may make even the biggest of Napoleon Dynamite impersonators jealous. I mean I am sorry if some guy walks up to my car in brown uber polished hooker boots and tries to scorn me for speeding I might have a VERY hard time taking him seriously.

Old Faithful

2005-07-26T13:46:00.000-04:00

Not to be crude - but have you ever unexpectedly farted in your cubicle thus forcing you to hope and pray nobody comes in for a good 10-15 mins? And by "you" I mean you this by no means happened to me

Enough is Enough, Jugs!

2005-07-26T10:57:00.000-04:00

Ok Jug, nice name to start, when are you and your stupid wife going to give up?

I mean honestly, at what point do parents stop with the BS laced hope and move on with their lives. I mean I am sure these guys they detained for countless days stymied what could have been a more thorough investigation. In all honesty, I don't really care. The girl is dead, lets move on. Let aruba return to a cool place to visit.

PS - Maybe you should have taught your slut daughter to not go onto a beach drunk as shit with 3 men she doesnt know. What kinda crazy tag-team did she/they have planned?

Aww yeah

2005-07-25T14:04:00.000-04:00

So remember that Hummer that I wasnt actually going to buy... Well now I can get a cool product to go with it. Who wants to look fake cool with me?

UPDATE:

Who wants to get down? I dont know which product to spend my life savings on first - decisions decisions.

Ah technology

2005-07-25T08:55:00.000-04:00

So I noticed on Friday that my computer decided once again to eat shit. Every summer something goes wrong and I end up with what I called a 'Glorified Paperweight'. This GPW is starting to piss me off. I am on GPW v3.0 now and dont understand why something craps out every summer. This time I seem to have no more CD-ROM drives (which means no DVD+R or CDR ...not cool).

In other news:

A newly opened restaurant called Car Crash has had to close down - after a car crashed into the building. -I love how funny the world can be sometimes. Thats what you get for picking the worst restaurant name ever.

The world's oldest mum, who gave birth at the age of 66, says she wants another baby - You could not pay me to stick my one eyed pirate into a 66 year old Cave no matter what promises of treasure and booty you offer. Thats just gross.

Don't you hate it when someone in public says hi to you, say at a bar, but actually knows you by name..and the entire time you have to sit there trying to figure out who the hell it is? They ask you specific questions like, "How is (insert university you went to here or best friend from 10 yrs ago)?" and you want to ask them back but hell you dont know their name let alone what school they went to. Then theres the douches who say hi to you simply because they went to your high school, man I didn't talk to you then and this bar certainly doesn't have enough booze for me to start now. Happy monday everyone FLJDFLKJDFKDFJ

Music Mania

2005-07-22T15:18:00.000-04:00

I don't have a lot of time to write and stuff today - too much to do. So I am going to leave some music suggestions for you all to check out

Chiodos - New album drops tuesday. Out of Flint, Michigan - its fun shit.

Boys Night Out - New album hits stores tuesday. Out of Canada. This new CD is absolutely incredible...I have bought everything they've written and this one will be no different.

Check those out NOW!

Where's the Price Tag?

2005-07-21T14:34:00.000-04:00

So all those car companies decided they were going to start selling cars at the same rate the employees get in order to increase sales.

Thusly, the television has been inundated with these commercials that show how big a savings you are getting....EXCEPT the Hummer...fuckin conspiracy

A few rants here n there

2005-07-21T10:02:00.000-04:00

Is it ok that I cheered when I found this out? My sense of humanity and sympathy is thrown out the window in the venue of sports. Take a break have another stroke - Its Colts time baby.

I go through music faster than Britney went through her career and into parenthood. So I decided to give KROCK2 a test drive. KROCK2 is the internet station for WXRK in NYC. Death Cab for Cutie just came on. I hate seeing this musical world I put up around myself to escape from everyone else turn into something everyone else is partaking in. How the hell did Death Cab go from small time Barsuk Records recordings to KROCK2. Sucks but at least they will be around to make more music right?

Why cant the company give us a day off with pay rather than a lame picnic? Why would I want to go outside in the middle of the day and sweat like crazy just to come back to my cubicle? Are you serious?

When did teenagers all start looking alike? I see kids at the movies and what not and I wonder if they all go shopping together...PS - your hair looks stupid dyed black(well most of you)

So much for my not bitching post from yesterday...I hope everyone is ok in London

Islam should become the new milleniums lepracy..put all those gun toting freaks on an island together with some bombs...let them blow each other up. Hell, Gladiator was a cool movie im down for watching them take on the lions...I put $1 into the jar for the Islammoseum - donations greatly appreciated - together we can make dreams become reality

WANTED - REWARD

2005-07-21T08:51:00.000-04:00

I was just wondering. If theres a bounty on your head, and you turn yourself in, can you claim the reward? Is there fine print on a wanted poster? Do you have a case against the government if they don't give you the reward? Can you imagine that prescedence setting case? I will post something of actual substance later but this sort of popped into my head.

Memories in the Corner of my Ears.....

2005-07-20T08:43:00.000-04:00

In my blogging adventures of late, I have noticed that a large portion of people's writing pertains to some sort of release or as people in the field of psychology call it, "bitching". I, myself, am also guilty of this observation but I am not here to discuss people's reasons or motives behind it. I just thought I would post something of a more positive nature. Partly because I have been inspired by Ruben to say something on the happier end of the spectrum.

How great does it feel when you put on an album that you havent listened to in a while. And when you put it on you rediscover how great that album is. While it doesn't need to be groundbreaking in the grand scheme of music, it just feels good to you. Whether it is the associations the album has with positive past experiences or just the aural qualities an album possesses. This is a great occurrence especially for me. I am a huge fan of music and my collection tends to get overwhelming at times and I forget some of the stuff I own or have on mp3. So I will randomly reinsert a CD I have not listened to in a while. This most recently occurred with a promotional copy of The Long Winters album I received to do an interview with John Roderick a while back. This album is just fantastic and vast. John doesn't care about genre or doing things right or wrong, just so long as he is writing songs, and they are good songs at that. So yeah, has this happened to you recently? Is there an album that you recently put on and remembered how fantastic it is? Maybe you put on a movie that did the same thing?

Update
Worst band name you know of without googling it?

My tops are:

Toad the Wet Sprocket - wtf does this even mean

Cradle of Filth - Again I have no idea what a cradle of filth is, but once cradle is inserted I begin to think baby - Baby Filth, fuckin paedophiles

Dandy Warhols(god i hate that name) - This isnt clever - this is just a sad attempt at creativity.

PS. The lead singer of Coldplay is railing Gwyneth Paltrow regularly, makes music for a living, and is rich as hell - WTF is he so sad about? The only thing I can think of is the fact that he was stupid enough to agree to naming his kid Apple.

Blogger farts in MySpace's general direction

2005-07-19T13:51:00.000-04:00

Well it seems as though theres a great reason not to use MySpace now...

Thank you Rupert Murdoch ! For those of you who do not know who that man is. He is like the Bill Gates of Television....because he craps Benjamins and runs Fox News. Not to be unfair or unbalanced in my decision - but I always liked this Murdock better.

Commence the Murdoch v Murdock battle!!! Dont let the giant machine gun in the 2nd picture aid in wavering your decision.

Thank you blogger

2005-07-19T10:38:00.000-04:00

Dear Blogger,

I would like to take a moment to thank you for providing myself and others with a venue in which we can vent, share ideas, laugh, cry, all that kind of crap. With that out of the way I would also like to extend to you my middle finger. I do not know why you feel the need to delete half my post when I click the publish button, thusly turning the post that would be located where this awesome letter now resides ,into an entire hyperlinked paragraph. That was not only awesome but astounding and I applaud the feat you accomplished in taking my creative time spent writing, and ramming it in my ass. I understand my job sucks and every day I feel like I am trapped in Office Space without crazy Milton, but now I am one step closer to hugging my stapler and kicking your electronic ass.

If you would be so kind as to not screw up my posts and waste the words I spent time writing it would be greatly appreciated. If you have any other concerns please email them to me so I too can have the pleasure of deleting something you spent time writing you sorry bastard.

Love Always & Forever,

Amateur Standing

The Fun Money curve

2005-07-18T11:29:00.000-04:00

Whilst working hard this morning I came up with a theory I ran past Shanks. I decided that the corporate pay scale function similarly to that of a supply demand curve. For those of you ignorant to economics I shall make this simple. The supply demand curve is used to determine the best price at which to sell something - The higher the supply the less demand, the higher the demand the less supply. Thus you achieve an equilibrium where the selling and demand can live happily holding hands and making babies.

Now comes my theory. Please take note that this theory does not include jobs that I personally consider non-existent due to self esteem and jealousy issues we all have with the rich and famous. Thusly, anything involving playing sports, making mainstream music, and movies is completely void of this theory. Much like software giant Microsoft scoffs at the supply demand curve. On with the show.

The more fun a job is the less money you get paid for it. For example, my buddy is interning at ESPN. Ok, hes not even doing anything involved with sports, sportscenter, wanna be sports shows like Cold Pizza, or even Poker(still not a sport - stop your driveling). He gets paid almost half what I do, which is sit bored on my ass all day reading blogs and checking sports websites. I do more sports stuff than he does. BUT he gets to say "Yes I worked at ESPN". Which means an increase in fun and decrease in funds. My job is at a giant corporate conglomerate which to this day I cannot truly explain what we do outside of publish a paper that is more conservative than Planned Parenthood and Less Conservative than that bowtie wearing ass on CNN, Tucker Carlson.

In conclusion - if you want a fun job I hope you dont want to get paid for it. If money is more important I got some labels you could print out and a few files that need put away.

Mega Ultra Uber Secret

2005-07-18T10:19:00.000-04:00

I know I said I am not really into politics but this makes me laugh anyway. I wa sreading a column by John Dean on CNN and this excerpt can be found about halfway through

Rove may be able to claim that he did not know he was leaking "classified information" about a "covert agent," but there can be no question he understood that what he was leaking was "sensitive information." The very fact that Matt Cooper called it "double super-secret background" information suggests Rove knew of its sensitivity, if he did not know it was classified information (which by definition is sensitive).

Ok, "doube super secret background". Who the hell talks like that? Was he triple dog dared into leaking this information. Rove is involved in the upper echelons of the political world and he is going to play dumb now? At least Clinton tried to be slick. While Rove is hardly the president, and thank god for that, he still had to know what he was doing. Its amazing what these guys get away with.

On that note, whats the craziest thing you ever got away with? I will think about it and post mine as an update later.

UPDATE:

Ok I have been thinking about this all morning. I never got away with anything CRAZY. I did get away with not writing a paper in college and due to my performance in the class the teacher could have sworn I turned it in and got a B on it. Rather than be honest I took the free grade. This was before I became studious and actually liked school. That isnt exactly crazy by any means. Oh well if I come up with something better I will post it - I dont think its that I dont do crazy/stupid things - its just that I get caught hah.

If Gay Marriage Was Ok for Cartoons

2005-07-18T08:37:00.000-04:00

Classic

Holy Handicapped Judge Batman!

2005-07-15T10:58:00.000-04:00

So for reasons I cannot explain, everyone is talking about Rehnquist, who not only has an obnoxious name to type out, but also has more health issues than a nursing home and quite possibly goes through as many bed pans. How is this man still left to serve? The guy can barely walk, has tubes running out of who knows where at this point, is anyone even sure that hes not ACTUALLY dead? Now that would make for an interesting white house press conference. They cant even handle questions about Rove, Id love to see an onslaught of questions pertaining to a robotic chief justice utilized simply to maintain conservative votes in the supreme court. Ok but I am not a politics man, this was just a quick rant.

My girlfriend and I have had this conversation about pet peeves pertaining to the people we are all blessed with observing day in and day out. As I think of more I will post them here assuming people even find it the tiniest bit humorous, although I expect people not to laugh so much as want the last minute of their life back. But I am selfish and will do as I please so read on my puppet of literacy.

The couples who walk with their hands in each other pockets needs to stop. Its like they are playing a sick twisted game of siamese twins just to see what it feels like were they attached at the armpits. Why is this so necessary? Can you not hold hands like a normal couple? There seems to be some overwhelming desire for booty grabbing whilst window shopping I suppose. These people are also the type to generally sneak into dressing rooms together or ask the clerk "Can we share a dressing room?" Nobody wants to clean up after that - thanks. I know this type of complaining seems stupid and pointless - and quite frankly it is. But I dont give a shit, these people look ridiculous. Not quite as ridiculous as the poor kid whos mom thinks he requires a leash to be functional in public, but ridiculous none the less. Walking with your significant other should consist of just that, walking, not a long term game of grabass. I get weird enough looks hugging someone I havent seen in a long time in public, just imagine if I jammed my hands down their back pocket.....

Your Edumucation Makes you Lose Points

2005-07-14T08:53:00.000-04:00

As I begin to write this I can assure you the title is meant to read as is, and thats how this post was born:

One day, in the midst of mass consumerism I walk into the typical "Holy Crap this CD is expensive here" store in the mall. I was expecting a barrage of Hilary Duff life sized cardboard cutouts next to the latest 50 cent album, but instead I got a young African American male(20s) making a sales pitch to younger African American males(teens). The item of interest you ask? Playas and Haters - a card game based off the widely successful Magic: The Gathering no doubt. His sales pitch basically went as follows:

Salesman: "So you walk into a club right and you be wearin a bandana right? So the girl be feelin you, knowhatimsayin? And in the game you get points for that knawhatimean?"

Kids: *blank stares and confusion*

My friend being the mature college student that I myself, as well as any of you that read this were I am sure, decided to purchase the game and see what possibly could be held within. This is when I realized how awful this game truly is. I thought Ghettopoly was bad, but this game actually has penalty cards for 1) knowing how to read(which you would have to be able to do to play the game) and 2) graduating High School. You also accumulate Hos, Hoodrats, and Rides. Not to mention guns and other such Bling. This game has zero value in a system where rap videos are already instilling great impressions on todays youth. So where do kids get to find role models these days?

Athletes Right?
How about the Redskins?
How about the Chiefs?
Oh I know - the TITANS right?

Well I am going to go read and lose some playa points then maybe get a DUI and hit a female - its what all the cool people are doing...no?

Why Corporate America is Lame

2005-07-13T11:40:00.000-04:00

Sure we've all had our awesome jobs which generally most of us had pre-career choice. However, I am not so sure its my boring as hell job that makes me shake my head at Corporate America, so much as it is the way things work. For example in the last 2 days of work I have done the following work related things:

Filed (yes 4 yrs of college = filing, I would like to extend a thanks to UConn for not only impacting my wallet but my ability to select from numerous career options)

Called the Help Desk for my boss because he wouldn't do it - 5 sec phone call? If your time is that precious you better be named Bill or Donald, or regrettably George.

Ordered PC equipment, for a secretary to TAKE HOME. Now when a secretary of equal position as myself cannot order her own freaking mouse.....sigh

So needless to say the way this freakin company works is ridiculous. I have to put newspapers on my bosses' desks in the morning because the 2 foot walk from their desk to where the papers are is grueling and time consuming - we wouldnt want them to come down with typhoid or cholera on the great trek to Oregon now would we?

OK OK IM SORRY IM SORRY

2005-03-22T10:57:00.000-05:00

I know its been a week and I kept my public waiting. I am oh so sorry.

With that taken care of - lets discuss apologies. The infamous "I'm Sorry" . Something we were forced to say to our siblings when we didnt want to, forced to tell our parents so we werent grounded, and now are forced to tell significant others so they shut up once in a while. So how much clout does "sorry" really have. Of course there are the times where you can tell how sincere someone is about it, but even then how many apologies can you handle before you just dont listen to them anymore?

The sorry shit only lasts for so long before you start to question if they are actually apologetic or if they just hope that what worked previously to solve an issue actually does. Only apologize if you are actually wrong dammit. Theres been plenty of times where I do not apologize when I feel I had done nothing wrong, I am not going to compromise what I feel because someone else thinks its right.

So what is the current status of sorry today? I would think with the amount we are forced to say it as kids, we just come to find that it is simply a statement that makes things all better. Mom and Dad make you say it, you do, and life goes on right? Not when you are adults however. I just wonder if people toss it around like they do four letter extravaganzas and words that can be transcribed with @ and # symbols and other assorted Shift+number symbols.

I appreciate you taking the time to read this entry, and if you didnt enjoy it, Im sorry?

You got Game?

2005-03-15T22:38:00.000-05:00

Over the course of spring break we had a discussion about whether or not people have game when they go after members of the opposite sex. I proposed personally that I do not consider when I attract a girl or not game, but if I did that it would be referred to as prolonged game, in the sense that I take my time and girls like me over time not because I said something cute at a bar. I also think that as people date someone for an extended amount of time, that they eventually lose said game that they may have. You drop out of the race for so long can you catch up?

This is interesting because I dont think game has anything to do with it. I think people like to tell themselves that it does because it makes them feel more confident in any decisions they may be making and hell, its an ego boost. But what is game really? Does anyone actually have it?

Most of the time "game" is based entirely on how "hot or not" the person is. A girl isnt going to talk to you in a bar if you look like Jabba the Hut, its just not gonna happen unless she has a seeing eye dog and a stick. The truth of the matter is, it shouldnt be about game. It should be about chillin and being yourself and waiting for someone to notice that, and appreciate that. THAT is game. Its much harder to just be yourself around a girl you find attractive than to impress her with lines or what have you. So what do you guys think...is game actually existent or is some sort of social construction?

Valentines Day speech

2005-02-16T10:35:00.000-05:00

I hope to say this without sounding like every other guy before me but Valentine's Day has truly gotten confusing for me. I am going to bring it down to its most basic level and discuss it further from there. This is how I understand Valentine's Day presently. There is an expected exchange of gifts, which are meant to be surprises and often not discussed as to what the other wants or does not, and if that sort of exchange does occur one is still expected to have a rabbit up his sleeve. The guy generally takes his significant other out to some sort of meal and after spending the amount of money he likely spent, most guys expect a little, well to be blunt sex.

This does not make sense. There is a random day, so very close to christmas (and conveniently at the start of a lot of company's fiscal years) that this holiday lands on. We spend more time engaged in what to get one another that we forget to show we care and love one another on this holiday. Is that not what it is supposed to be about? I hardly doubt Saint Valentine was some capitalist afficionado.

Relationships have such a large amount of insecurity and need built into them that Valentine's Day acts more like a reminder to us that we care about someone else. And for our significant others it lets us know how much we care for them. Why should this be a designated day? Have we gotten so lost in our busy humdrum lives that Valentines Day is more important than the other 364 days we should be telling them we care? I know people think its a Hallmark Holiday and its just outside pressure that creates this consumerism. I think its the female psyche and our lack of faith in our own relationships. For a holiday named after a saint, youd think a little more faith would be involved, trust yourself at least, be the bigger person and ask for nothing, but it still wont work because remember, your partner has to remind themselves they care too.